For a Reason, For a Season

Posted on January 28, 2015

Rob Bell and I go way back.

He doesn’t know that, but we do.

I saw my first Nooma video about ten years ago. It was Luggage. From that point on, he had my attention.

I would load up my iPod shuffle with Mars Hill sermons. I would wake up early, walk the track before my first class at 8 AM, and listen to him as I made my loops.

Dusty started buying Rob’s books for me, and I believe I have read almost all of them. For Christmas, my dear friend got me The Zimzum of Love: A New Way of Understanding Marriage by Rob and Kristen Bell. I have almost finished reading it.

We own the video Everything is Spiritual and I have watched it at least three times.

A few years back Dusty got to hear him speak live. I was at home doing grad school work. I may still be bitter.

What can I say? The dude speaks to my soul.

To be very honest, lately I have been a bit out of sync with my spirituality.

There is no time allotted in my day for “me” time. Marriage and living with someone (in a very small house) changes that quite a bit. I have just been consumed by life. (See most recent post.)

On January 11, 2015 the first RobCast was released, and it punched me in the face. The second and third RobCasts have been released, but I am still wrestling with the first one two weeks later. I am currently listening to it a third time.

He begins by asking why being busy has become such a common thing. I know my schedule is packed, but I look around at my friends and they are in the same situation. Scheduling times to be together has become a chore.

My friends are amazing.

One of them is working toward her Ph.D. in mathematics and juggling a hundred other things on top of that.

Another is working toward her master’s degree, building a house, working full time, and still cooks dinner every night.

I am, by no means, in a league of my own on this one.

Rob talks about good being the enemy of the best. This certainly rings true in my life. I am involved in all of these really good things, but they are taking my energy from my few best things.

It is not that all of these things I am involved in aren’t amazing.

They are.

They are just not my amazing things.

Rob says,”It is better to be fully present and rested and engaged for one thing, than rushed and scattered and distracted for ten.”

He then asks if there is anything you are doing because of guilt or because you are supposed to. This is a painful question. My ego makes me do a lot of things. It is the idea that people may think that I can’t do it all. I so badly want to be able to do it all. I don’t like to disappoint people. My fear is that when I step down, no one else will step up.

I am then reminded that my life is a precious, holy, sacred gift.

Every.

Breath.

So here I am.

I have managed to get myself so bound by these things that I don’t know where to begin the cleansing process. The only problem is that I don’t find myself staring at a calendar full of B minuses. I see a whole bunch of As and even some A pluses. I have been so blessed to become deeply involved with a number of great causes.

I think getting some of my life back would allow me to focus more on my spiritual well-being.